I suppose I should start by saying that I’ve always been thin. Well, I’ve always had a larger-than average chest, but I had a small waist to go along with it. Growing up, in college, after college…thin. I wasn’t the athletic type, preferring horseback riding and dancing to things like softball and field hockey. But I was in decent shape. I never was a serious dieter or struggled with my weight.
I weighed 117 (I’m 5′1″) when I became pregnant with my daughter. Three years later, when I became pregnant with my son, I was 134 — the same weight I was in the 24th week of my first pregnancy. Clearly, I never lost the “baby weight.” In fact, it would take me more than 6 years to reclaim that low of a weight.
So let’s fast forward a bit…back in November 2007, we went to Disneyworld as a family. I had weaned my son (about 18 months old) a few months earlier, and the weight I lost while nursing was slowly creeping back on. It was only once I got home and looked at our pictures that I was horrified by my appearance. The result? I never printed the pictures and put them in my kids autograph books. I mean…who can compete with Sleeping Beauty, right?
But even then, I was in denial. A few months earlier I bought those cute size 6 khakis I was wearing in the picture, excited about how well I’d done losing the pregnancy weight. After seeing these pictures, I packed them away and switched to my “normal” clothes, which were ready and waiting for me in my closet. Wearing size-appropriate clothes masked the problem, and helped me go on with my life unquestioningly.
What’s interesting about it, to me, is that no one I knew really treated me like my size was unusual or large. I was “normal.” At least, I was normal for someone who’d had two kids, had a full-time job, and very little extra time in her life for things like good nutrition and working out. I was doing the best I could, and no one faulted me for that.
So my journey didn’t start here. No, this picture wasn’t quite enough to give me a wake-up call to improve my health. I’ll show you the one that was in my next post.
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